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Hindsight


by John Reuben




		I screamed to God out of frustration 
After another day of waking and hating the fact
That Iím still where Iím at
Whatís the point of all of this
Cuz Iím not seeming to find it
Is it meaningless? I search the reason behind it
Because these moments seem to drag on forever
And these years on end seem to have never been this
Desperation has formed repetition within
Too insecure to pretend and Iím too weak to defend
Here it comes again all in my world again
Left with no direction no beginning no end
The days blend together and the weather never changes
Numb to the outcome but yet not quite painless
Aimless to whether or not I made a mistake
And if so how far is too far before itís too late
Should I wait but then what would be too long
To reverse the effects if I was wrong

(chorus)
Hindsight is a beautiful thing
When you can look back and see what patience and time can bring

Is it a must that Iím here is it a must that I stay
In order to look forward must I look away
We're moving towards a new day
Unsure of what tomorrow will bring our way
Iím not even quite sure of what this day holds
I say we travel the unknown and watch it unfold
Hold today close while still reaching for tomorrow
Through the test of time Iíve seen joy overcome sorrow
So with every trial I endure
With hopes to mature into what I was created for
More than life itself I want life itself
Press past the present until forever is felt
And take hold of the hidden mystery
Wide eyed and open I now see differently
If itís to be then give me the strength to be content
And find peace in knowing one day it will all make sense

(chorus)

Learning to accept the unexpected
Because the unknown wasnít here for me to correct it
So I let it go and stopped trying to control the impossible
Simply put tossed in the shuffle
At a young age just like everyone else
So I donít feel sorry for you or for myself
Love is bigger than that and Iím not below or above
The way it moves even though the things it does
To my train of thought can bring about doubt and uncertainty
Patience tends to not agree with my psyche
Thatís more than likely just some pride in me
Fighting expectations of where I think my life should be
Selfishly I forget so quickly
Let me never forget Lord break me in humility
Some sort of amazing grace on me
As I look back upon my life and where Youíve taken me

(chorus)

Hear the call peace fall
From trial to triumph I want your hand in it all
Allow me to know where to stand in it all
Life Giver



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