A Widow Indeed

1226-b

Could we with ink the ocean fill, and were the skies of parchment made;

Were every stalk on earth a quill; and every man a scribe by trade...

To write the love of God above, would drain the ocean dry...

Nor could the scroll contain the whole... though stretched from sky to sky."

The songwriter was correct... The love of God is endless, timeless, fathomless. Man can read of it, write of it, even appropriate it, and yet only understand a tiny portion of it. When we stand at the foot of Calvary, we see more of it than at any other time in our lives, and yet even then we can only grasp of tiny portion of its magnitude. The love God has for us transcends our failures; it transcends our greed; it transcends our selfishness; it even transcends our deepest sin.

While God hates sin, His hatred of sin, strangely enough, does not affect His ability to love the sinner. This is an enigma to man, but a Scriptural truth. His love is limitless and endless..

But while God's love knows no limits and has no prejudices, there is an amazing footnote in Scripture to its focus. The Word teaches us that God loves all with equal love... Jew, Greek, male, female, bond, free. His love is given without limits and without partiality. It is available to all.

But there are a few chosen categories of people for whom God's heart seems to beat more quickly, over whom God is more protective, to whom God's love seems even more available. Theologically, this is difficult to explain. But though it is difficult, it is no less true. And Paul is about to discuss in great detail with young Timothy one of those categories of people.

We have been reading I Timothy, chapter four, and have been concerned in our last study that "in the latter times, some shall depart from the faith." We took a look at the last days, and what the world and the church would be like. We also realized that with every passing sign of apostasy and moral decline that Christ's return becomes more certain; and our hope becomes more sure. So these are not times to be downcast, but joyful. These are not times to spend contemplating the depth of the problems, but times to spend anticipating the excitement of the solution. The solution is that Jesus is coming again. Not maybe... Not perhaps... Not if... Jesus is coming again. And though the last days would be filled with signs of the impending deterioration of society, the very fact that Satan is making such inroads guarantees us that his days are numbered... and that any morning now, the eastern sky may well be flooded with light... and in the distance the sound of a mighty trumpet and the voice of the archangel will usher in the beginning of the end... and the beginning of the beginning for us.

Now Paul begins to get down to some very practical "how-to" items on his list of "how the church should behave" in these perilous times. He gives Tim some clear cut instructions. Here are a few of them:

1- “Refuse profane and old wives' fables and exercise thyself rather unto godliness.” (I Timothy 4:7) (in other words, stop listening to doctrinal fairy tales that tickle your curiosity; instead, continue trying to apply sound doctrine to your life.)

2- “Let no man despise thy youth, but be thou an example to the believers in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.” (4:12) The young men and women in the church had a double responsibility. They were to "prove themselves" as it were, and earn the respect of the rest of the congregation by being above reproach in behavior, in demonstrations of love, in attitude, in dependence on God, and in the chaste, pure way they conducted themselves. Their youth was not to be an excuse for weakness, but a springboard for strength. Those who came to Christ in their youth had a head start on those who came as adults. Those who came as youth need never taste the cup of the sins that many live with all their days. By remaining pure and faithful as a youth, not only do they win the respect of the Body of Christ, but they give God an undefiled vessel through which to pour Himself.

3- "Till I come, give attendance to reading, to exhortation, to doctrine." (verse 13) Paul was urging young Timothy to be an example to the flock, and to submerge himself in the Book. The Word of God was to be his life. He was to read it, share it, and apply it to his life. It was to be his only authority.

Now Paul moves into a realm of practical church administration, and on the surface, it seems to only be a little bit of inner church business that those of us outside Ephesus could ignore. But a closer look indicates that he is inscribing for us on the scrolls of Scripture, a plan for caring for a group of people whose needs were etched in His precious heart in a special way. And in the process, He teaches us a little more about the marvelous, endless love of God. Let's begin reading,

5:1 Do not rebuke an older man, but exhort him as a father, younger men as brothers, older women as sisters, with all purity.

Paul gives Tim some vital instructions for interpersonal relationships. As a young man in the Body of Christ, Timothy and the others his age had to understand that their wisdom in Christ must never be a cause to overstep the bounds of propriety. They must be men of dignity and discretion. And they must understand the respect God demands of age itself. This, in fact, will set the tone for this whole passage. While he is at it, however, Paul goes on to explain his need to be careful in all of his relationships with other believers in the church.

He is to treat all of the older men in the church with the respect he would be expected to give his own father. The issue isn't who is wiser, but who is older. He must appeal to them as he would his father not condescendingly or harshly, but gently and respectfully. He is to treat the younger men as he would his own brothers, and the younger women with the same kind of holiness of thought and behavior he would show his own sister.

Now he begins his treatise on the treatment of a special group of people and a list of the church's responsibilities and responses to that group. It includes a list of their responsibilities as well. It is found in 5:3-16:

3 Honor widows who are really widows.

4 But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show piety at home and to repay their parents; for this is good and acceptable before God.

Paul has defined this special group of people for whom the Father has a special love. He is breaking them up, for the sake of the church's responsibility, into more than one category, focusing particularly on those who are "really widows"...or "widows indeed" as the King James version originally worded it. He goes on:

5 Now she who is really a widow, and left alone, trusts in God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day.

6 But she who lives in pleasure is dead while she lives.

7 And these things command, that they may be blameless.

8 But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith, and is worse than an unbeliever.

The thrust of Paul's opening statements have to do with what really constitutes a "widow indeed" and what their spiritual responsibilities are; then, he speaks of the depth of the burden God places on children to provide for their own parents. Principles are beginning to abound. He continues:

9 Do not let a widow under sixty years old be taken into the number, and not unless she has been the wife of one man,

10 Well reported for good works: if she has lodged strangers, if she has washed the saints' feet, if she has relieved the afflicted, if she has diligently followed every good work.

11 But refuse the younger widows; for when they have begun to grow wanton against Christ, they desire to marry.

12 Having condemnation because they have cast off their first faith.

And besides, they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house, and not only idle but also gossips, and busybodies, saying things which they ought not."

Paul is now giving specific instructions about how to analyze the needs of some of the younger widows and what the potential problems are if they are automatically placed in this select group. He concludes:

14 Therefore I desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, manage the house, give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

15 For some have already turned aside after Satan.

16 If any believing man or woman has widows, let them relieve them, and do not let the church be burdened, that it may relieve those who are really widows.

This is a long passage, but it really must all be taken as one set of instructions, or the overall principles might be lost in the process. Outlined, I think we might see it like this:

I- The Heart of God

II- The Responsibility of the Children

III- The Responsibility of the Widow

IV- The Responsibility of the Church

The Heart of God

The issue of widows and God did not originate with Paul's letter to Timothy. In fact, it did not originate with the New Testament at all. From the very beginning of God's relationship with Israel, he clearly demonstrated where His heart was, and what the consequences were for failing to act accordingly. Widows, orphans, and transients (or foreigners placed in their midst) have always represented a chosen class which must be given preferential treatment. First, how God Himself feels about widows and orphans:

Deuteronomy 10:17 For the Lord your God is a God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God, mighty and awesome, who shows no partiality and accepts no bribes.

18 He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the alien, giving him food and clothing.

Psalm 68:4 "Sing to God, sing praise to His name, extol Him who rides on the clouds-His name is the Lord-and rejoice before Him,

5 a father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy dwelling.

Psalm 146:9 The Lord watches over the alien and sustains the fatherless and the widow

Jeremiah 49:11 Leave your orphans, I will protect their lives. Your widows too can trust in Me.

The Creator God who knows no partiality has taken it on Himself to become the protector and defender of a certain group of people even above and beyond His normal role as our Rock and fortress; our shield and our defender. The orphan and the widow are special cases to God. He has made that clear. He has become a father to the fatherless. He has become a husband to the widow. Because their natural umbrellas of protection have been lost, God assumes the role for them. There is no greater protection than that. There is no greater comfort than that. And so with great emphasis, He transferred a portion of that responsibility to His people, who were to execute His will on earth. And so to the children of Israel He said:

Exodus 22:22 Do not take advantage of a widow or an orphan.

Deuteronomy 24:17 Do not deprive the alien or the fatherless of justice, or take the cloak of the widow as a pledge.

Deuteronomy 27:19 Cursed is the man who withholds justice from the alien, the fatherless or the widow. Then all the people shall say, 'amen'.

Deuteronomy 24:19 When you are harvesting in your field and you overlook a sheaf, do not go back to get it. Leave it for the alien, the fatherless and the widow, so that the Lord your God may bless you in all the work of your hands.

20 When you beat the olives from your trees, do not go over the branches a second time. Leave what remains for the alien, the fatherless and the widow.

21 When you harvest the grapes in your vineyard, do not go over the vines again. Leave what remains for the alien, the fatherless and the widow.

Throughout all of Scripture God not only promises to defend the widow, He commands His children to do the same. So it is not a new thought to the church when Paul writes to Timothy.

God's heart beats for the widow. He plans to provide for her, care for her, be sensitive to her needs. And likewise those He appoints on planet earth to be His Shepherds must do no less. But as always with God, He has not circumvented the normal channels of responsibility in order to provide a Christian welfare program. The ministry of the church is to be logical, orderly, and in keeping with all other Christian principles. So it is that this passage clearly outlines the whole of the widow's place in the church and in the family. It cannot be covered totally in one lesson, so we will only touch on the first part in this session. God's plan for the widow looks something like this:

While it may seem complex on the surface, it isn't. God has simply placed the primary responsibility for caring for the widow and the elderly in the hands of their offspring. Those who loved, nurtured, sacrificed, and provided for them in their youth now need care in their old age.

The Responsibility of the Children

Those who received that care now give it. You say, “But isn't that a burden?” Beloved, the will of God ought never to be a burden, and lest you forget, from a human perspective, parenting is a burden. Now the matchless balanced plan of God allows the child to begin to give back a portion of the love and provision he or she has received to the elderly, particularly the widow. So the key to the pattern is that the widow's children are responsible first. If they are not available or responsible, the church assumes that responsibility, but with certain provisions. Those provisions have to do with the character and reputation and spiritual faithfulness of the widow in question. And so it is, God's plan is a beautiful, evenly distributed sharing of the needs that arise when age approaches and the perils of life have robbed a woman of the husband who would be her provider and her support. God assumes that role and He has arranged for either the family or the church to be the vessels He uses to care for her

And as always, His plan has a logical sequence of authority. First, the opportunity to return love and obey God falls on the believing family. Now this was not a new principle in Jesus' day. The Jew had a tradition of assuming that responsibility, and the Greek culture of Christ's day was perhaps even more specific. In fact, it was Greek law that sons and daughters were not only morally but legally bound to support their parents. Anyone who refused that duty lost their civil rights.

Aeschines, a famous Greek orator said this: "Let there be a scrutiny of public speakers, in case there be any speaker in the Assembly of the people who is a striker of his father or mother, or who neglects to maintain them or to give them a home," Demosthenes said: "I regard the man who neglects his parents as unbelieving in and hateful to the gods, as well as to men."

 Philo wrote: "When old storks become unable to fly, they remain in their nests and are fed by their children, who go to endless exertions to provide their food because of their piety."

To him, even the animal kingdom understood their responsibility to those who bore them.

Aristotle wrote: "It would be thought in the matter of food we should help our parents before all others, since we owe our nourishment to them, and it is more honorable to help in this respect the authors of our being, even before ourselves." His position was that a man would starve himself before he would let his parents go hungry. And so it goes.

Long before Jesus Christ came and demonstrated His eternal commitment to His heavenly Father, God had written it on men's hearts, even unbelieving men, that conscience alone required the assumption of the principle of caring for parents in their old age. And the concept was multiplied when a widow was involved. Hence, Paul's instructions to young Timothy were not a revolutionary thought. It was simply God enunciating clearly what should have gone without saying.

Then why the problem in our society? Why the leper-like approach to the elderly in our world? Why the self-centered, "I didn't ask to be brought into this world", philosophy that so permeates our youth? Where did today's children get the idea that either society or their parents owe them a living, while they owe society and their parents nothing in return?

We learned in the last lesson that,

1) In the last days, perilous times will come.

2) Men will be lovers of themselves, in love with their money, disobedient, disrespectful to parents, hardhearted, rough, cruel. They will betray even their friends.

As the end approaches, man becomes more and more self-centered. Even common courtesies are a thing of the past. Basic principles of behavior are thought to be out of date, and man forms his own set of moral and behavioral values. To give up something for himself to help his parents (whom he imagines are responsible for the mess this world is in anyway) makes no sense.

So never in history have Paul's words to Timothy been more needed. Man has stretched the limits of life through medical technology until the elderly are the fastest-growing segment of society, yet the evidence is that the generation responsible for adding years to life only resents the results of their creativity. And the elderly and the widow, in particular, are looked upon only as necessary evils to be tolerated‑ not wonderful tokens of God's love to be cared for and learned from. God help us.

So Paul writes specifically that in the "later" days, men would depart from the faith. He then writes: "honor widows". The word "honor" means to "fix a value upon", "to revere", "to pay proper respect in the light of worthiness". Do we do that? Do we honor our widows who are "widows indeed"? Or do we set them aside and hope the day will never come when they will need our help? Here are Paul's specific instructions:

1- Honor widows, show them proper respect. (verse 1)

2- Children or grandchildren must "repay their parents; for this is good and acceptable before God".(verse 4)

3- If anyone does not provide for his own, "he has denied the faith, and is worse than an unbeliever."(verse 8)

4- "If any believing man or woman has widows, let them relieve them, and do not let the church be burdened, that it may relieve those who are really widows." (verse 16)

We will continue this study in our next lesson. The key to coming to a better understanding of God's plan for old age must begin, however, with a humble re-evaluation of our attitudes as believers toward the elderly and especially toward the widow. The discrepancy between what we say and what we do as Christians cannot be explained away by an unbelieving world, who in many cases look after their own better than we do. For us to pretend to be spiritual, spending all of our time in spiritual pursuits, while ignoring our own parents must break the heart of God. For it was James who wrote in James 1:27,

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

The will of God for the child of God is that he or she obey the Word of God. And the Word of God minces no words when it comes to the responsibility we have towards our parents. It involves much more than sending checks or paying bills. Rearing children involves more than sending those children to a day care center or an orphanage and then agreeing to pay the bill. It involves love. It involves time. It involves respect. It involves sacrifice. It often involves the parent doing without so the child can have what he or she needs. Now God is turning the tables. He is saying there may well come a day when real spirituality will be tested, not by your activities at church, but by your concern for your own.

God help us to pay attention.