The Challenge of Choice

1223-b

All of his life Jerry had been the epitome of spiritual maturity. In Christian circles he always said the right things, did the right things, and was revered by all those who looked to him as an example. All, that is, except his family. For those closest to him knew that while he manifested in public the life of a saint, there were times in his life when he seemed to simply lose control. These times only happened when he was either by himself or with his loved ones.

Though nobody at church knew it, he had a drinking problem, and he would often make an utter fool of himself in front of the family. Several times, he reacted in uncontrolled anger when the children pushed him too far. He totally destroyed his witness to them by using abusive language, even throwing things, behaving more like a child than an adult. Each time, he was filled with remorse and asked for forgiveness. Of course, they complied. But as time went by, they trusted him less and less, not because they didn't think his heart was right, but because they didn't think his life was in control.

One day, a group came and interviewed him with the thought in mind of making him an elder of the church. They gave him a list of things to consider and asked him to study I Timothy, chapter three, measuring his heart against the heart of one who is to hold that office. Much to the committee's surprise, he turned down their gracious offer. Why? He came across one little Greek word "sophrona", and he began to do a word study of its meaning. Suddenly, it hit him. God's man is a man whose life is always in control. Not in his control, in God's control. It is in God's control because of the discipline of decisions: choices that have been made with such regularity that the enemies of the "sophrona" life have had no chance to make inroads and create patterns of uncontrolled behavior.

This is no lightweight subject. It touches the life of every man in the church, and it acts as a measuring stick by which Christian leadership must be gauged. It is the measuring stick of self-control.

Paul, you remember, has been sitting behind his desk in his Macedonian denominational headquarters, dictating letters to the young preachers he had sent to the field to do missionary work.

In far off Ephesus, a critical church in the scheme of things, a young man named Timothy was trying to uncover and discover the roots of the heresy that had begun to spread like wildfire in that once thriving body of believers. In an effort to be sure that Tim understood that worldly skills and experience do not a pastor make, Paul began to outline the requirements for the office of overseer (one who shepherds) and the office of deacon (one who serves). It was like an employment application divided into four distinct sections; who he was, how he behaved, how he responded to time, and how he responded to experience.

In our last two studies, we have looked at the character of the man of God: in particular, Paul's assessed need of men who were calm, gentle, dignified, and content. Now the apostle turns from the matter of character to the matter of behavior, and he focuses on one key point: "Is the man in question, a man of self-control?" Is his behavior controlled by choice? by circumstance? by decision? by emotion? by deliberation? or by uncontrolled appetites? The man who would lead the church must not be a potential crisis in the making. He mustn't be a time bomb about to explode. This calm, gentle, dignified man must be always in control of his life... always. No surprises. No unexpected changes of character just when he was needed most.

To make his point, Paul takes four Greek words, three of which amplify the fourth, and slides them into his application blank for greatness as necessary requirements for leadership. And it is those four words we will look at for the next few moments together. Our outline: ‘The Challenge of Choice”

I- A Description of Self-control

II- The Hindrances to Self-control

III- The Absence of Self-control

A- Addiction

B- Initiation

C- Retaliation

I- A Description of Self-control

The first Greek word, and the key to this whole lesson is that word "sophrona" which so stirred the heart of our friend in the opening illustration. Its variations in Scripture are several, but its meaning is constant. Here is how it is defined:

"sophrona"-sober, soberminded, serious, self-controlled, Of sound mind; sane. To act discreetly with sound judgement and moderation.

Prudence, discretion which controls all inordinate desires and exercises a dignified restraint on all actions."

Simply put, sophrona is a life under control. It is the will, responding to the Word, over the objections of the appetites and emotions. It is a life in which the desires and feelings which would govern wrong choices are overridden by the Scriptures which are planted in the heart. When a choice is to be made, the appetites will send up their desires... "Satisfy the flesh", they cry. The emotions chime in, "It feels right; do it". But suddenly, the Word of God enters the mind. It has been laid up there for such a time as this. The Word calls to mind an absolute of Scripture which you would be violating if you were to make that choice.

Immediately, you choose to obey. Not because you feel like it. You don't. Not because you don't desire to do the opposite. You do. But because you have become a man of such sophrona that you are serious and sober minded about every decision, and the only criteria that matters is the eternal one.

Example #1: You are at work and a fellow employee takes advantage of you; then when you confront him, he lies and blames you. Anger begins to swell up within you. Your face turns red. Your heart begins to race. You are about to make a decision to retaliate based on how you feel. You feel angry.

Suddenly, it happens. You have been memorizing and meditating on Romans 12:19. Your mind hears the words, "Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord." Matthew 5:44 follows suit: "But I say unto you, love your enemies; bless those who curse you; do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you. that you may be sons of your Father in Heaven."

You turn to that lying, spiteful, ungrateful fellow employee and respond in love. You give up your rights to success and give in to a higher law; the law of demonstrating the Mind of God. You have just exercised sophrona. You made a choice. You rejected your emotions and listened to God's Word instead. In heaven, you will be blessed. You have just made a deposit in the Bank of Eternity that moth and rust cannot corrupt, and thieves cannot break through and steal. But that decision may not be recognized on earth as a good one. Mark that. If so, you may already have your reward. You can't collect in both worlds. And what you collect in this one tarnishes and fades.

Example #2. You want to go on a diet. In fact, you do. Sort of. Well, kind of. I mean, again. You decide that for one month you will eat no desserts, no bread, no second helpings. I have found that the best weight loss diet is the "nothing-nothing-nothing" diet. "Nothing-nothing-nothing" means that you eat nothing that looks good, nothing that tastes good, and nothing that smells good. At any rate, you go on this diet. Your intentions are good. You pray for grace. You pray that your spouse won't take you to that cafeteria up the way where they spray the pies with that shiny stuff that makes it cry out to you, but she does. You slide your tray almost helplessly, fearing the worst, You get as far as the double chocolate fudge pie with the apricot whipped cream on top. Your mind says, "that is a sin". Your appetite says "who cares? I'll diet tomorrow"(if I don't die tomorrow). For a few brief seconds, you are about to give in. Suddenly Proverbs 13:25 begins to ring in your ears. It says: "The good man eats to live; the evil man lives to eat. " You are reminded of another verse from the Living Bible which says: "Don't even turn your head to look". You still do not have the will-power to say no. But you do have the Holy Spirit. And He in you will always respond to the Father's Word. So quietly in your heart, for a brief second, you choose to yield to the Scriptures. God takes over. You z-o-o-m past the chocolate fudge surprise so fast you almost knock the bewildered cashier into the aisle. It was warfare, but in a moment of crisis, you chose the word over your appetites. It was the challenge of choice, and you made the right one. The minute you did, God's Spirit empowered you to overcome.

This is self under control. This is a life that is controlled by the will in response to the Word over the objections of the appetites and the emotions. It is the mark of a man of God.

II- The Hindrances to Self-control

The average believer has a difficult time operating that way. So often, our intentions are good, but in the heat of the battle, the will gives way to the flesh, and downhill it all goes. By following that word "sophrona" and its variations through the New Testament, we begin to see why. There are some hindrances to obedience that the Scripture makes very clear. Let's look at them:

The Hindrance of Pride

First there is the hindrance of pride. In Romans 12:1-3, we find a fascinating sequence. Verse one is that famous "Commit your bodies a living sacrifice" verse; the ultimate surrender passage in Romans. Verse 2 follows with a clear definition of spiritual transformation and its effect on doing the will of God. Then verse 3 adds:

3 For I say through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, (there's our word) as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith.

Then comes that wonderful explanation of the division of spiritual gifts in the Body of Christ.

The call is to commitment. The command is to surrender. The catch is pride. If a man begins to think more highly of himself than he ought to think, he will lose his sense of total dependence on the power of God. When he does that, his emotions will begin to make his decisions, rather than a sober, honest evaluation in the light of the Word. The opposite of "thinking more highly than he ought" is to think "soberly", realistically. So if you are having a problem with self-control, the first thing to consider is the problem of pride. There is a reasonably good chance that you are not leaning completely on the Word because you have come to trust in yourself and what you can do apart from God. Once you do, your decision-making processes go out the window.

The Hindrance of Lust

The second hindrance to the self-controlled life is found in Titus 2,

11 For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men,

12 Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, (there's our word) righteously, and godly in this present age,

13 Looking for the blessed hope and the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ.

The grace of God, the person of Christ has appeared. He has reminded us of the reality that we are to live a life of self-control. But we can't do that, unless we are willing to deny ungodliness and worldly lusts. Lust, you recall, is the call of the appetites to the will. When you lust for food, that your eyes have seen or your nose has smelled or your mind has envisioned something that from experience you know will satisfy your taste buds. The computer of the mind makes the connection. It calls into memory a remembrance of how good that tastes. Left to fester, lust multiplies until it so controls the thoughts that the will has no choice but to respond.

When you lust for drugs or alcohol, your body is responding to an addiction which has satisfied it before. Unless it is immediately destroyed by the Word, it will snowball until you cannot help but have it. The lust of the eye over sensual things is exactly the same. Only the Word of God released from the heart can pull down that stronghold and give you the strength to say no. We are to live soberly, righteously, godly in this present world. The only way we can is to deny ungodliness and worldly lusts. It's the challenge of choice. And the Word is your only hope.

The Hindrance of Temporal Vision

The third hindrance to the "sophrona" life is found in I Peter 4:7:

"But the end of all things is at hand. Therefore, be sober (there's our word) and watchful in your prayers."

The man who doesn't take his spiritual life seriously can't really expect to ever be a man of self-control, because the decisions the Word prompts us to make will always be based on eternal choices. They will always be the opposite of man’s ways. Always. So if it comes to "choice" time, and even if the Word rises to your conscious thinking, you will reject it and move with your impulses unless you believe that "the end of all things is at hand". Unless you are convinced in your heart that this world and all that is in it is passing away, and that only what is laid up for eternity will last, you will not rightly respond to the challenge of choice. You will start to, but your spirit will not bear witness with God's Spirit when the Word surfaces, and you will yield to your feelings or your desires instead.

III- The Absence of Self-control

So Paul has described for us the life of a "self-controlled" kind of a man. It is a life that views circumstances from God's perspective, flees worldly lusts as though they are the poison they are, and is utterly convinced that "apart from God he can do nothing".

But there is more. Paul now gives us three additional Greek words which actually are a portrait of a life of self-control. Those three words paint this kind of picture:

They tell us that the self-controlled man is:

a) not addicted (me paroinon)

b) not combative (amachon)

c) not retaliatory (me pleken)

The first word (me paroinon) literally means "not one who tarries at the wine". A Christian leader cannot be a man addicted. He cannot be one subject to the control of external substances. His mind must always be crisp; his spirit sensitive; his reflexes able to yield to God's Spirit. The word "sober" or "self-controlled" (sophrona) is interpreted by some to demand this quality. Just to be sure, Paul underscores it on his application blank for spiritual usability.

Please remember from a previous study that the word "drunk" literally means "any state of mind that is impaired from its best". So it isn't a matter of being so drunk you can't stand up. It's a matter of being impaired in any way. To any degree alcohol or drugs are affecting you, even slightly, to that degree God's Spirit cannot control you. That's why Paul used the analogy he did in Ephesians 5:18.

Be not drunk with wine, which is debauchery, but (instead) be filled with the Spirit.

The opposite of being affected by addictive substances is to be controlled by God's Spirit. The two are incompatible. They are contrary terms. That is why I believe that the "self-controlled" man of God will pay any price not to have his life affected by any potentially addictive substances. I'm not arguing whether or not the Bible says you can't take a drink. That's not the issue. The Bible doesn't say you can't walk down the freeway. It doesn't say not to jump off a cliff. It assumes that you would use reason in applying absolutes. And Ephesians 5:18 is an absolute. It says do not allow your spirit to be affected one iota by tarrying at the wine, or partaking of that which would addict or control. Instead, let God's Spirit be free to control you always.

For me, that means never touching alcohol. You must have your own convictions. But the issue isn't what you are free to do. The issue is what you are free to do that will not compromise God's ability to totally control your spirit. One thing is for sure. The man of God is “me paroinon”. He does not tarry at the wine... not even long enough for it to have any effect on his life. To do otherwise would limit his ability to live "soberly, righteously, godly in this present world."

The second word in Paul's portrait of self-control is amachon. It is a word that is used to signify that absence of a combative spirit. Its literal meaning is "one with whom no one fights". Another translator words it "peaceful; disinclined to fight". It is a person who has no chip on his shoulder. He is the opposite of paranoid. He not only doesn't think everyone's out to get him; he gives everyone the benefit of the doubt.

He sees the clerk in the store who waits on everybody else first as just doing his job. He sees the fellow who refuses to let him in on the freeway as having a personal emergency. He sees the neighbor who borrows his tools and doesn't bring them back as having a good reason. And anyway, since its God's lawn mower, God's time, and God's car it's God's problem. And even if he knows there is wrong intent, it simply becomes a motivation for prayer. That clerk in the store: who's praying for her salvation? That guy on the freeway; has God allowed him to cut in front of you so you'll pray for him? That neighbor? Are you praying for those who despitefully use you and persecute you? You are if you have a non-combative mindset. God's man does.

The third word is me plekten. It is closely aligned with the second. It, too, involves self-control; and it, too, involves the temper. But instead of indicating the godly man does not initiate quarrels, this word indicates he does not retaliate. It is a term of response, rather than aggression. It is a person who learns what it means to turn the other cheek and to go the second mile. We don't dwell much on those principles in our day; for we live in an age where everybody fights for his rights... in court, in the family, even in the church. Instead of a servant world, we live in a selfish world. God help us. That is not the Gospel. The Gospel is so non-combative that the unbelieving world calls us fools.

And God's man in leadership must be non-combative. It doesn't mean he doesn't stand for what is right. He does. But he's not looking to pick a fight, and he's not wearing his feelings on his sleeve. He's looking for a way to avoid conflict and promote unity. So long as he can do that without violating absolutes, he does. He is a man of a sophrona spirit. Under control. Under God's control. Not addicted, not combative, not retaliatory. His decisions are the result of choice; not feelings.

So back to our basic definition of self-control. It is a life of predictable responses based on controlled behavior. It is the will responding to the Word over the objections of the appetites and the emotions. It is the absence of responding to feelings and desires; the presence of choice based on the challenge of Scripture.

It is a life not under the influence of addicting or controlling substances. It is a life that is not combative, not retaliatory, and not angry. It gives others the benefit of the doubt, and rests its case in the arms of Jesus. To do so it has had to overcome the hindrance of pride, the hindrance of lust, and the hindrance of a temporal value system. It has had to refocus the whole of its thinking on God's perspective.

Men, here is the next test of a man of God. Is self under control? Are you predictably well behaved? Can you be counted on to keep your cool when the tempers around you are rising? Can you say "no" even when the flesh is crying "yes"? Do you understand just how vulnerable you are? Or has pride so entered into your spiritual life that you have decided it "can never happen to you"? The self-controlled man takes nothing for granted. He bathes himself in the Word of God, morning, noon, and night knowing that only the Scriptures called to the mind by the Spirit can meet the challenge of choice. Only the Word is strong enough to quench the emotions and control the appetites.

Men of self-control. That is what the church is looking for, because that is what God is looking for. Therefore, it must become what we are striving for, as well.