Sermon Illustrations

MALE

Astronaut Michael Collins, speaking at a banquet, quoted the estimate that the average man speaks 25,000 words a day and the average woman 30,000. Then he added: "Unfortunately, when I come home each day I've spoken my 25,000 -- and my wife hasn't started her 30,000." 

Sports Illustrated.

Epperson's Law: When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at. 

Don Epperson, quoted by Bill Gold in Washington Post, Reader's Digest, January, 1980.

The average male is: 5' 9" tall and 173 pounds. Is married, 1.8 years older than his wife and would marry her again. Has not completed college. Earns $28,605 per year. Prefers showering to taking a bath. Sends about 7.2 hours a week eating. Does not know his cholesterol count, but it's 211. Watches 26 hours and 44 minutes of TV a week. Takes out the garbage in his household. Prefers white underwear to colored. Cries about once a month--one fourth as much as Jane Doe. Falls in love an average of six times during his life. Eats his corn on the cob in circles, not straight across, and prefers his steak medium. Can't whistle by inserting his fingers in his mouth. Prefers that his toilet tissue unwind over, rather than under, the spool. Has sex 2.55 times a week. Daydreams mostly about sex. Thinks he looks okay in the nude. Will not stop to ask for directions when he's in the car. 

From Men's Health, quoted in Parade Magazine, December 29, 1991, p. 5.

Five major needs of women: 1) Affection, 2) Conversation, 3) Honesty and openness, 4) Financial support, 5) Family commitment.
Five major needs of men: 1) Sexual fulfillment, 2) Recreational companionship, 3) An attractive spouse, 4) Domestic support, 5) Admiration.

His Needs, Her Needs, quoted in C. Swindoll, The Grace Awakening, Word, 1990, p. 256.